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A Month to View

PUBLISHED: 16:33 22 July 2011 | UPDATED: 20:32 20 February 2013

A Month to View

A Month to View

Judi reflects on what has, might, and probably never will happen in 2011

Judi reflects on what has, might, and probably never will happen in 2011



Its that time of year when you promise to learn a new language/lose a stone and make your own Yorkshire puds instead of buying Aunties. To be honest, for me it might as well be sign up for split your own atom What I will do though is go to the dentist regularly and the optician, especially the latter after a long conversation with my handbag the other day thinking it was the cat. Perhaps thats why I made a very, very expensive mistake.



FLIGHT OF FANCY

Booked online to go to Corfu for the wonderful pot-tossing celebrations. They throw huge terracotta pots full of water out of their top-floor windows into the crowds below (its all to do with casting out the devil). Anyway, found the flights from Bristol not too expensive until you add on the add-ons like approximate oxygen required, etc. Dates tallied there and back, pressed the button to confirm, which is when I realised I had booked outgoing flights from Corfu to Bristol. Doh! Had to pay to rebook four flights. Ill make sure I breathe my full quota of oxygen, I can tell you!



A CENTENARIAN TEA PARTY

I wrote about dear Irene Sankey last year. Irene, or Rene as she is to her friends, which I am proud to class myself as, is probably one of the last remaining QNs (Queens Nurses), and was awarded the MBE in 1976. Well, recently Rene reached the big one, 100 years of age, and although not in the best of health, I went along to her birthday tea in Crediton. If ever proof was needed that a blameless life shows in your face, it was lying on that pillow. A babys complexion and the sweet smile of an angel.


Did you get your telegram from the Queen? I asked. She cancelled it, said Wendy, her friend and companion. Tell her why you cancelled it, Rene.
Save the stamp, she replied with a gentle smile playing on her lips. Besides, Ive met the Queen twice, and she beckoned me closer and whispered. The last time we met she had a turquoise dress and coat on, and it was rather creased!



A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM

I got an idea of what Rene was feeling when I was invited to a party to celebrate 100 years of Plymouth City Museum not the most flattering invitation Ive ever received.
We were looking through the film archives, I was told, and there is a lot of footage of you!
You know youre old when youre in black and white!



THE DRY CLEANERS

Ive got three inexpensive cream rugs that have seen better years, and thought Id give them a spruce-up using one of those contraptions you see for hire in the dry cleaners.
Dont bother, said the scourge of all shopkeepers in the South West (my sister, Rita). Itll only bring up dark patches you cant get rid of. With the hire cost and the aggravation, may as well buy three new ones.
I ignored her. Managed to get a space outside the dry cleaners on a Saturday. Went in to see an assistant with a mouthful of pins bent double over a garment, determined neither to take them out nor make eye contact.


Errph? she said (which I interpreted to be yes). Han I hulp oo?
Yes, I replied brightly. Id like to hire one of these rug cleaners.
You would have thought Id asked for a male pole dancer for the evening. She spat out the pins and spat at me, Have you got your passport, driving licence or bank statement? Apparently the machines are soooo expensive that a deposit isnt good enough. I have to let a complete stranger, who could be on work experience for all I know, peruse my bank statement. Honestly, it was easier crossing the border from Slovenia to Slovakia! Needless to say, I have taken my big sisters advice, sorry Rene.



THE SOAPBOX

Is anyone else fed up with buying expensive candles in jars and ending up with no wick and a jar full of liquid wax? And before you suggest it, yes I do trim my wick, so to speak!






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